Q: What's cute but incredibly evil?
A: Chiyo-chan's pigtails.

Q: After meditating I have come to the conclusion that you are the enlightened one. Others may scoff and call you spacy but I can tell your seemingly bizzare statements are actually koans, designed to break us all free from desire and the material world. Master, I am ready to recieve your wisdom.
A: Aha, follower. I will impart today's words of wisdom: follow the snail's path to the yellow truck. Only then will you find true happiness.

Q: Will you marry me?
A: *blush* I don't even know you...

Q: Teach me that beatiful voice of yours!
A: I just sing with my heart! You really think it's beautiful?

Q: What runs around a house but doesn't move?
A: A fence.

Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A: Aaah... a lot?

Q: Give me New Years money!
A: No way! I'm broke enough as it as. Go get money from someone else! ...and while you're at it, get me some too!

Q: May I punch you in the face?
A: No! *runs back to the broom closet*

Q: How much would you pay for this picture of Sakaki *holds up picture of Sakaki in a skimpy swimsuit*
A: *faints*

Q: Have you ever been in love?
A: Well, a little bit... sort of... maybe once.

Q: Bang. Tadakichi has been shot.
A: Oh no! Tadakichi-san!!

Q: Did you know you have a stalker?
A: *blank stare* I have a frying pan.

Q: What weapons do you use for defeating the evil pigtails of chiyos?
A: Cheese. And rope. Lots of rope.

Q: Why don't you wear contacts?
A: They make my eyes sting.

Q: Have you ever been in bed with Yomi?
A: Yes, lots of times when we were children. Yomi used to wet the bed all the time!!

Q: I cut my hair the same as yours but my parents forbid me to rename myself to Tomo. Does that mean now I'm not able to learn Tomo-glish?
A: You must be named Tomo to speak Tomo-glish!!! No exceptions!

Q: Here Sensei! I bought you a gift! It's a Kaorin doll for special purposes. I hope you have fun!
A: *ecchi grin* Thank you.

Q: Have you ever been busted for peeping on the girls?
A: No!

Q: Do you consider Kagura as a rival?
A: *shrug* No...

Q: If you eat a Burger and then only vegetables for 2 days do you think you're fat? I think you're prety slim!
A: Thank you! But burgers are extremely fattening.

Q: Please teach me how to swim!!
A: You just jump in the water and move your arms and legs around. *sigh* I wish I could swim like a dolphin.

Q: Can you teach me how to learn japanese faster?
A: Sure! Would you like me to tutor you at lunch time?

Q: Will you join me at a party?
A: Only if there's lots of booze!

Q: If you ever come across a bridge beware of the headless horseman!!
A: *whimper* Why is everyone trying to scare me?

Q: Good! I think the driving will be fun. Don't you think so too?
A: I love driving!